Dear Office Christmas Cake,
This really hurts, but I think we're going to have to take a break. You see, time after time you promise me that you won't add on 5 pounds to my ass and thighs with every piece of you I take. However, as my jeans get tighter and I find myself having to unbutton the top of my pants once again, I realize that I cannot trust you.
YOU LIED TO ME, you with your sweet, cinnamon encrusted outside and your soft moist insides. You bastard. We're done.
No longer forever yours,
P.S.- Maybe we can have a make-up session later this afternoon?