Good morning lovelies! I'm sitting here at my desk, trying to prepare myself for the day ahead. I can never come to work and start directly. I have to sit down, open my gmail, skim the NY Times, drink some coffee and generally decompress before I start.
You see, I work as a paralegal, which means that my responsibilities range anywhere from getting a partner's shoes shined, to running to court to file something. Mostly, I sit at my desk and file paper. Talk about the ultimate boring job, but at least it's not data entry. Not that I'm not grateful, because I don't have it nearly as bad as some other paralegals. I haven't had anything flung at me (except a piece of paper, but that was an accident), I get home at a relatively decent hour, and everyone's nice. I also work in a "boutique" law firm, which essentially means that it's a small, really specialized law firm.
I also think it's slowly sucking my soul dry.
You see, I suffer from "Save the World Syndrome," or SWS, which means that I have visions of being a lawyer for marginalized people. This is not a bad thing. Race and ethnicity have been the primary focus of my studies and my life for a very long time, probably due to my confusion about my own mixed racial background. I discovered that I wanted to be able to give a voice to people who normally wouldn't have one. Maybe this is a selfish goal, because on some level, I think I'm secretly hoping to find out more about who I am through other people's experiences. But I also know that I'm very serious about being a resource for the underserved and unappreciated.
I'm conflicted, because I work in a law firm that specializes in Employment Law. We get some criminal matters, which the lawyers have been kind enough to give me, but sometimes I feel incredibly guilty working for a place that primarily represents big businesses who (in my opinion) want to crush the individual (however, most of these individuals are extremely rich and have the means to fight these big corporations). Part of me feels like I should just leave and find another position to fill my time.
What am I going to do about this situation? Go to law school. LSATs December 6th, applications in by March 1 for the fall class of 2009. And I'm scared as hell.
Why am I telling you this? Honestly? I don't know. I know that this is an extremely mundane post, but I'm still trying to figure out my blogging style. I'm new at this, so I'm not exactly sure in what direction (if any) I should take this blog. If you have any tips, please send them over!
Anyway, enough of my silly little diatribe. Have a good day!