Angela Chase-isms

We all love Angela Chase of My So-Called Life. She is so not a CFWG. Anyway, I stumbled upon Thought Catalog's Angela Chase-ism for the week (written by Collier Meyerson, also author of Carefree White Girl), and it happens to be on interracial relationships. It's worth a read--and brings up some interesting questions and observations about race and romantic relationships.

Why the interest on my part, you ask? My husband is white, and I identify as black and multiracial, but that's another story for a different day. Read the article below!

Angela Chasisms: Existential moments when you feel like the way you’re thinking about something is exactly the way that Angela Chase would think about the same thing, so you like, think about it, like in that way, that like, she does. This week: Attraction.

ON ATTRACTION

When someone asks you what your “type” is you know exactly what they mean and you know exactly how to answer. There is this entire coding system that we’ve adopted to answer that question without sounding, like, racist. When you hear someone say with a twinge of exoticism in their tone: “I like brunettes with dark features” you know that they’re talking about a “Jewish,” Moorish or, like, Middle Eastern looking person. They don’t need to name it. Or, someone will say: “Oh Jack? He only dates dark chicks. Isn’t that so weird? Would you have guessed?” That means that Jack only dates brown or black women and because it’s something to note, Jack is probably white. And yet, more often than not you’ll hear: “I don’t have a type, I just date whoever, I really am attracted to so many different ‘types.’” And on some level those people are probably telling the truth. But that doesn’t mean that they actually date the people they purport to be attracted to.

Most times, when you actually look around, people date people that looklike them. Intellectually, we all know that white people aren’t only attracted to other white people. I mean, secretive interracial relations during slavery prove that people of different races have always been, like, carnally into one another. But when it comes to being publicly with someone outside of your race, it’s like, a thing

I guess attraction is learned, like, algebra, or, something. So, then what about people that have been in actual interracial relationships? Are they trailblazers? Did they have to, like, unlearn the behaviors so many of us can’t seem to break from? I guess, in a way, it’s sort of heartbreaking to think about all of these people that could be together that won’t, because they can’t like, step outside of themselves

I once learned of this guy, James W. Rouse who developed one of America’s first “planned communities” in Columbia, Maryland in, like, the late ‘60s or something. His hope was to gather people from different races, ethnicities and socio-economic classes and put them together in one place so that the civil rights legislation of the 1960s could have proof that a pro-active, self-sustaining integrated society could, like, actually exist. It was pretty forward thinking I guess. I wonder how much it worked. A part of me wishes we were all forced to live in planned communities. I envision every town and city having these billboards all over the place (no longer owned by Clear Channel) where instead of a white couple drinking Corona there’d be, like, an interracial couple drinking Budweiser. And the slogan would read “The American type of Beer.”

Tiger Mothers

{Google Images}

I know, I know, I am a WHOLE WEEK LATE with this breaking news item, but um...wow. How do I even respond to an article like this? Maybe Amy Chua just missed the mark in terms of what she was trying to convey (and I really, sincerely hope this is true)...but I feel like I see a lot of sterotypes in this article, and I am not comfortable with it.

Also- the proposed parenting techniques (uhmmm, like calling your daughter "garbage" in front of guests) kind of make me want to die.

Side note: When Chua also says that she uses the words "Chinese mother" loosely, and that she knows some other (namely Jamaican/West Indian, ahem) mothers who qualify as well? My parents never used any of those emotionally abusive techniques. Yes, I couldn't watch TV or play video games, but I did get to choose my own adventures.

What do you think? She is also a Yale Law professor. Oh man. Law. Lawyers. My chosen profession, ah.

I like what Jezebel has to say on the topic.

Wear your nylons.

I've been thinking about all the brouhaha surrounding Debrahlee Lorenzana, the Citibank employee who says she was fired for being too sexy, claiming that her bosses at Citibank axed her for her (ahem) assets which were "too distracting" to her male colleagues.

This story is interesting to me- not just because of the "sexy lady factor" and the "woman working in a man's world" slant (which, I believe is all of us)--but also because I am in the process of interviewing for my first legal co-op, which comes with some strict rules on how to dress.

I am no stranger to harassment and finger-pointing in the workplace. In my very first job out of college, I was called into my boss's office after one week to be informed that my attire was inappropriate and that "it's hard to believe that anybody does work around here with her dressing like that." It turned out that the person who reported me "mistook" me for someone else. I didn't get an apology, but I was left feeling like HR hated me and the only thing I could wear to the office was a paper bag.

I understand the importance of dressing appropriately, and always make a point to follow the dress code, wherever I work. My workplace attire has never been inappropriate, but ever since my encounter at the above company, I find that I continuously question myself whenever I have to make a choice about what to wear to work. You see, the thing is, I don't really have a choice in what to wear to work--not if I want a job!

And yes, I do want a job (even if it's unpaid)! However, apparently there are some stringent rules regarding the dress code: I've been told to wear "nothing too flashy" because I "didn't want to take away from what you're actually there for". Stockings must cover bare legs, and shoulders must be covered up. Suits may only be navy, gray, or black, and I must wear sensible heels. Hair should be up and pulled back neatly.

I will follow these rules and I won't purposefully deviate from them, but I wonder, what would happen if I ended up not interviewing in separates AND I forgot to wear nylons? This happened to me on Friday, as I rushed back to Boston at a very high speed to get to a job interview. I threw on a work dress and a blazer and scraped my hair back, but I forgot to wear nylons. I didn't get the job--even though I really wanted it, and now I am convinced it is because the interviewer saw my bare legs and said "Nope, this is not our girl. She has bare legs and that is inappropriate. She can't work here."

This is dramatic, I know, but what would happen if this were the real reason I didn't get the job? After all, I certainly have judged people who have come in for interviews based on their overall presentation. Who determines what is presentable? And why can't we show a little bit of personality in our look? Is it because of judgment? Is it because people really believe that beauty is distracting? Is it because of the knuckle-grazing Neanderthals who can't keep it together every time a woman (or a man) goes by?

Dammit, I can do my job without being distracted by bare legs--and I'm pretty sure that lots of other people can too.

An interesting read.

I took a hiatus from writing about race on this blog for a little bit, but because the discussion of race and ethnicity and how it plays into American culture is a discussion that is ongoing, I'm back on the subject. This is mostly because I am incensed that the word "Negro" is on the census this year, and "Latino/a" is not. It's 2010, folks.

I've been spending a lot of time on Racialicious and listening to Mixed Chicks Chat recently. Both forums have interesting discussions about the issues that impact mixed-race and minority individuals. They cover everything from racial identity, the use (or misuse) of words, to the absurdities that mixed raced people often face.

Like I've said before, I consider myself to be black and multiracial. Black, because that is the way society views me, and multiracial because my mixed roots are too prevalent to deny. I prefer to define myself as multiracial.

While playing around on Racialicious the other day, I came across the posting "The 'What are You' Game: Rules and Regulations". It's a bit snarky, but perhaps it can offer a little insight into the world of those of us who don't necessarily occupy just one box.

Here's the post:

Try to imagine, for a moment, how you might start to react to this question when asked regularly over the course of your life:

You’re a child and – over and over – people come to you (adults, children, teachers, whomever) and ask you what you are, with no context clues suggesting that you are playing “let’s pretend.” It’s not Halloween. You’re not wearing an elaborate costume. No, they are honestly questioning your identity in a way that so thoroughly strips you of pride, humanity, and belonging – and doing so as if it’s just a matter of course, and fully acceptable to do.

They are not asking about who you are – your interests, what you do, the important people in your life. They are simply asking you what you are, and in such a self-entitled manner that turning you into a thing like that comes with the expectation that you’ll give them the answer they want without any negative reactions.

Imagine what that does to a kid’s sense of identity, their self-esteem. Imagine the message it sends them about their place in the world. It’s no wonder that the majority of mixed folks I have known have – at some point – considered themselves isolated and without community.

An ethnically-ambiguous kid (or adult) will never be able to avoid this question (or similar variants). It’s going to come at them throughout their lives, often at the most unexpected times. Most ambiguous people have to figure out how to deal with this on their own through trial and error – seldom does anybody else help them navigate this particular aspect of their lives.

The “What are You?” Game (U.S. Edition) Rules and Regulations

Minimum 2 players, no maximum.

Object: You.

Goal: Retain as much dignity as possible while dealing with racial ignorance.

Materials: All you need is yourself – an ethnically-ambiguous human being – and somebody else’s lack of respect.

GAME PLAY

Be born into this world. Interact with other human beings. Game-play should ensue shortly.

When to Play/Who to Play With: The “What are You?” Game can be played at any time, anywhere. It can be played with friends and family, but is best played with casual acquaintances and outright strangers. Any time another human being asks you the question “What are You?,” the Game has begun, and your humanity can be earned or lost. Again, it is important to stress that this can happen at any time, as ignorance has no concept of appropriate boundaries and/or timing.

GETTING STARTED

Game-play is commenced once another person (“the Asker”) asks you (“the Person”) “What are You?” It is then your turn.

POSSIBLE PLAYS

- “Just Deal” – this technique entails humoring the Asker and just giving them the response they are looking for (i.e. your racial/ethnic background); least time-consuming, but will cost you 5 Humanity Points (HPs), paid to the Asker

- “Go Off” – if you give in to anger and let your Asker know exactly what you think about their questioning, you have elected to “Go Off;” “Going Off” usually involves expletives, loud volume, and possibly aggressive physical movement; “Going Off” might feel better at the time, but it costs 8 HPs, paid to the Asker, as they leave the situation believing that you are “oversensitive,” “irrational,” or “dangerous,” possibly reinforcing their own racial and/or gender stereotypes

- “Play Dumb” – choosing to act like you don’t know what the Asker is getting at means you are “Playing Dumb;” “Playing Dumb” involves asking questions like “What do you mean?” or giving answers like “Pisces,” “a lawyer,” “the Queen of Dance,” or “a carbon-based life-form;” a “self-entertaining” tactic, “Playing Dumb” can leave you with 0 to 5 HPs, depending on the Asker’s reaction: a confused look allows you to break-even at 0, while having your Askers explain themselves and possibly understand the disrespect inherent in their question can earn you 5 HPs

- “Flip the Script”* – this tactic involves turning the question back on the Asker (similar to the “Playing Dumb” technique of asking questions); “Flipping the Script” involves a response of “What do you think I am?” which subsequently changes the power-dynamic, as your Asker will now feel uncomfortable, wanting to make the right “guess” without exposing the obvious ignorance that caused them to ask in the first place; also “self-entertaining,” “Flipping the Script” earns 2 HPs.

- “Create-a-Play” – players are not limited to the above tactics; creating your own plays not only increases your problem-solving skills, but can also increase the richness of the overall game; “Create-a-Plays” are self-scoring - earning up to 5 HPs for plays that enhance self-dignity and/or cause the Asker to become aware of people outside of themselves; losing up to 5 HPs for plays that decrease self-pride and/or cause the Asker to feel “right”

*Game-Note: “Flipping the Script” can also lead to playing other Ethnically-Ambiguous-based games such as: The “What do You Think I Am?” Game (make note of all the different responses to the question you get, see if you can guess other people’s assumptions based on environment, other person’s background, etc.) and the “What Can I Convince Them I Am?” Game (try different body-language, outfits, etc. to see if you can elicit a specific, incorrect guess).* (*3)

CONTINUATION

New “Askers” or “Persons” can join in at any time. Game play continues indefinitely, “Persons” and “Askers” taking turns playing tactics or responding until physically separated or “understanding” occurs.

HOW TO WIN

Unfortunately, due to the unending nature of this game, there is no way to achieve a final, decisive “victory.” However, if you can keep your head up and realize that the other players are doing so out of ignorance, and that it has nothing to do with you personally, then you are a “winner.” Being however you feel best in the world – no matter other people’s ridiculous opinions and/or questions – also results in a “win.”

And I agree- the most important thing is that you identify however YOU want to- not just how others (especially the majority) want to define you.

Cry Me a River, John Mayer

A lot of other people have written about John Mayer's Playboy interview where he spouts a bunch of racist garbage and women hate.

I don't hate John Mayer's music. I don't love it, but I'm not offended when it comes on the radio. However, after reading this interview, I can safely say that I hate John Mayer and I think he is a ignorant, misogynistic asshole.

Yes, these are strong words, but when you're in the public eye and you say the kind of crap that John Mayer did, someone needs to say something.

John Mayer, maybe you thought you were being funny, but ignorance is never okay.

Here are a few highlights from the interview:

That’s why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a ni**er pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin’ David Duke c*ck. I’m going to start dating separately from my d*ck.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his d*ck. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.

I'm sorry, WHAT? The only thing better than this is his narcissistic, RIDICULOUS apology:

Idiot.

Zoe Saldana on Culture in Hollywood.

Zoe Saldana: I have a hard time accepting roles that typecast a culture. I don't need to play Juana, the prostitute from Washington Heights, in every movie. If it's been done before, you don't need my help. Latinos, we're not all pimps or prostitutes, we don't all deal drugs; not everyone in Jamaica smokes weed; not every Middle Easterner is a terrorist. It's boring, offensive, and hurtful. I'm not bitter about it, I'm just saying that I would like to retain accuracy of certain cultures. Some people will do these roles, but I'm fine with being poor.

Complex Magazine

World Aids Day

Today is World Aids Day.

World AIDS Day is observed every year on December 1st. The World Health Organization established World AIDS Day in 1988. World AIDS Day provides governments, national AIDS programs, faith organizations, community organizations, and individuals with an opportunity to raise awareness and focus attention on the global AIDS epidemic.

Over a million Americans are estimated to be living with HIV. Worldwide, an estimated 33 million people are living with HIV.

Get the facts, and take action!

Here are some things you can do:

• Get tested.
• Decide not to engage in high risk behaviors.
• Use protection (Not only for you, but for your partner too!).
• TALK TALK TALK! Talk about HIV prevention with your family and friends.
• Get involved!

Rihanna on domestic violence.

This is such a heartbreaking and honest interview. I think that Rihanna deserves a lot of respect for speaking out.

I have been volunteering at the Boston Medical Center for the past few months, interviewing women in the emergency room about their ideas and experience with domestic violence. The stories that I have heard are heartbreaking.

Domestic violence is an issue that I think deserves a much bigger audience. It is something that we, as women are warned about, but once it happens to us, we are expected to keep silent.

Nobody wants to be a victim. Nobody wants to admit that they have been emotionally or physically abused.

But how can we speak out when traditionally, the course of remedy to leave your abuser isn't so easy? What happens when you love the person who is abusing you? What happens when, the person you love is so violent, that even a restraining order won't keep them back?

This is not a simple issue, but somehow, we miss this point. In Massachusetts, one in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, and an estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner every year.

How do we change, because something has to give. It is NOT okay to condone or trivialize domestic violence issues.

Please take a moment visit Jane Doe Inc., for more information.

The Heidelberg Project

The Heidelberg Project is this amazing community project in Detroit, Michigan that I happened to come across while futzing around on the internet. What a great program.

Check out some history:

The Heidelberg Project, bearing the name of the street on which it exists, was started in 1986 by Tyree Guyton. He was assisted by his grandfather, Sam (Grandpa) Mackey (deceased), and his former wife, Karen Guyton. Tyree was raised on Heidelberg Street and, at the age of 12, witnessed the tragic effect of the Detroit riots - from which he claims the City of Detroit never recovered. Though once racially integrated, many neighborhoods have become segregated urban ghettos characterized by poverty, abandonment, and despair.

Armed with a paintbrush, a broom, and neighborhood children, Guyton, Karen, and Grandpa began by cleaning up vacant lots on Heidelberg and Elba Streets. From the refuse they collected, Guyton began to transform the street into a massive art environment. Vacant lots literally became “lots of art” and abandoned houses became “gigantic art sculptures.” Guyton not only transformed vacant houses and lots, he integrated the street, sidewalks, and trees into his mammoth installation and called his work, "The Heidelberg Project", after it's location on Heidelberg Street.
Despite numerous awards, the city demolished parts of the Heidelberg Project installation in 1991 and again in 1999. Still, the Heidelberg Project continues to exist, evolve, and grow - providing hope and inspiration to the local community and the community of the world.

Today the Heidelberg Project is recognized as one of the most influential art environments in the world.

To donate, and check out more facts, go here.

The Uniform Project

I just came across The Uniform Project (well, not really, since everyone is blogging about it), and I think that it's an awesome idea.

Well done, and I hope you get many, many more readers.

Here it is:

Starting May 2009, I have pledged to wear one dress for one year as an exercise in sustainable fashion. Here’s how it works: There are 7 identical dresses, one for each day of the week. Every day I will reinvent the dress with layers, accessories and all kinds of accouterments, the majority of which will be vintage, hand-made, or hand-me-down goodies. Think of it as wearing a daily uniform with enough creative license to make it look like I just crawled out of the Marquis de Sade's boudoir.

The Uniform Project is also a year-long fundraiser for the Akanksha Foundation, a grassroots movement that is revolutionizing education in India. At the end of the year, all contributions will go toward Akanksha’s School Project to fund uniforms and other educational expenses for children living in Indian slums.

~The Uniform Project

Future plans

Soo...remember all of those posts about taking the LSATs 8 million times and feeling totally inadequate? Now I can look forward to feeling inadequate in law school!

In March 2009, I was accepted at Northeastern University School of Law. I spent a very long and emotionally greuling time trying to decide whether or not I wanted to go back to school, to go back to school to be a lawyer, whether it was worth it to take the same test over and over again, if I was willing to put myself through 3 years of hell, and then take another exam that literally determines your fate in the legal world.

Why, do you ask, did I decide to continue through with my law school plans despite my apparent apathy? Because I knew that there had to be people out there just like me- intelligent, socially and morally responsible people who want to effect change in the world. And I knew that these people believed that the law should be practiced with passion and a deep understanding of its impact on every citizen.

No, not all lawyers think like this, not all lawyers want to change the world. But I do, and I believe that I can. Do I expect to have a deep social impact on our society? No, but a girl can dream. What I can do is provide a unique point of view and the passion to dedicate my work to what I believe in- in whatever way I can.

And I know I belong here:

At Northeastern University School of Law, our mission is to fuse theory and practice with ethical and social justice ideals so that students understand what it is lawyers do, how they should do it and the difference they can make in the lives of others. We strive to produce lawyers who see the practice of law as a way to realize their goals, to find meaning and purpose in life, and to be of service to others in ways that are intellectually satisfying and personally rewarding. We are committed to engaging with the world outside the university, to harnessing our individual and institutional energy to address societal challenges, and to expanding knowledge that advances our ideals through research and scholarship.

The Stoning of Soraya M.

I really want to see The Stoning of Soraya M. , a film about a French journalist stranded in a small Iranian town and a woman who has a harrowing tale to tell about her niece, Soraya, and the bloody circumstances of her death. This movie exposes the power of mob rule, uncivil law, and the utter lack of human rights for women.

Though this movie has a lot of disturbing subject matter, I've heard nothing but good things about it. I'm going to try and see it this week. My review will come later.

Have Race Relations Improved?

While reading The Root today, I came across a survey conducted by CNN/Essence regarding race relations in America:

From CNN:

The poll was conducted May 16-18, in telephone interviews with 505 African-Americans and 501 whites.

Blacks and whites had differing opinions of Obama's performance:

-More than 60 percent of blacks felt that Obama met their expectations, while 46 percent of whites did.

-Thirty percent of blacks said Obama exceeded their expectations, compared with 16 percent of whites.

-Six percent of blacks said Obama did not meet expectations, compared with 35 percent of whites.

Both blacks and whites gave similar answers to a survey question about whether race relations will always be a problem in the United States.

-Forty-five percent of blacks answered yes, while 42 percent of whites said yes.

-Fifty percent of blacks said no, while 56 percent of whites said no.

The poll had a sampling error on these questions of plus or minus 4.5 percentage points

Have race relations improved? If we put forth a post-racial agenda, will these relations improve?

I don't think we will ever have a post-racial agenda in the United States. Our country is still (in my opinion) too deeply enmeshed in the historical shackles of slavery. However, this is not to say that race relations haven't improved, nor will they improve. I believe that relations HAVE changed, that acceptance is becoming more universal.

I had this belief until I read that more than 27 million people are in slavery today all over the world. No, this is not the same type of slavery that we as Americans have a working knowledge of, but changes in the world's economies and societies over the past 50 years have enabled a resurgence of slavery. The end result is the same: One person controlling another and then forcing them to work.

What are we going to do about this? I'm going to try and find an answer.

?RU

Erin sent this to me (because she knows that I have a little obsession with this subject matter). This video

shows you a little insight into the world of people who are mixed race, interracial families, or anyone who does not fit into a single identity box.

How is this still okay?

{PC: NY Times}

"NEW ORLEANS — Earnest Hammond, a retired truck driver, did not get any of the money that went to aid property owners after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita.

He failed to qualify for one federal program and was told he missed the deadline on another. But he did get a trailer to live in while he carries out his own recovery plan: collecting cans in a pushcart to pay for the renovations to his storm-damaged apartment, storing them by the roomful in the gutted building he owns.

It is a slow yet steady process. Before the price of aluminum fell to 30 cents a pound, from 85 cents, he had accumulated more than $10,000, he said, almost enough to pay the electrician. But despite such progress, last Friday a worker from the Federal Emergency Management Agency delivered a letter informing him that it would soon repossess the trailer that is, for now, his only home."

~NY Times

How is it that this is still happening? Progress on renovations of houses have been slow, and temporary housing is running out for Hurricane Katrina victims. FEMA keeps on saying that it has done everything it could to help those in temporary housing, but agency clients paint a different story.

I feel like I don't have to point out the fact that the people who are suffering the most are at an economic disadvantage. I remember thinking this when I traveled down to the Mississippi Gulf Coast to do aid work a few months after Hurricane Katrina had hit. We need to do a lot more work to help repair the aftermath of Katrina. This article proves it. Read it here.

Vogue loves your body, but only if it's a size 2.

I love fashion. I spend too much time on fashion websites, spend too much money on clothes, and read 5329804 different fashion magazines.

HOWEVER (and I've said this before), the fashion industry is one UNHEALTHY industry to be in, and I can only imagine that if I worked in it, I'd be riddled with massive insecurity. Usually, every mainstream fashion magazine, Vogue, Elle, Harper's Bazaar, etc. has an annual "shape" issue, in which they pay homage to women with "every" type of body...Except Every. Single. Model. Looks. The. Same. And guess what? The body type? SKINNY. Not slim, not slender, not curvy, not athletic, not full. Skeeeeeny. Even the "curvy" models {read: euphemism for FAT} come in {at their largest} at a size 6.

Beyonce, who is not a model {but not exactly a "real" girl either} is on Vogue's April cover. Beyonce is a size 6, yes, but she's also 5'7" and, if you see her in real life, she's SMALL. She is also a woman of color {yes this matters, because WOW, different ethnicities have different physical characteristics} Guess what? We brownies have curves in different places. Why do you think there are so few models of color? Coincidence? I think not.

Here's the thing- I'm brainwashed. Yeah, I rant and rave about how horrible the fashion industry is, but I read all of the magazines, and subscribe to their image of beauty. In fact, after I read the article on Beyonce, the only thing I could think was "Damn, how does Beyonce handle all those big ol' curves?"

Also, Victoria's Secret model and great beauty Doutzen Kroes is featured in the issue as having an "athletic" body type, because her thighs are slightly too big for runway. OMFG.

Oh, and FYI Vogue? Will nude heels lengthen MY BROWN LEGS? Probably not.

Maybe it's about time I stop reading these magazines...

{Ranting post courtesy of Jezebel's Cover Lies}

The question I dread most in the world.

Though there are several questions that send me running to push the panic button, one pops out as being the most stress-inducing, wet-your-pants scary question of all time.

"What are you?"

Yeah, that's the question. As a woman of {indeterminate} color, I get this question at least once a day. No, I'm not exaggerating. What a loaded question! For those of you who can't understand why I would get upset at a question like this, I want to put it this way:

Imagine that your identity is questioned Every. Single. Day. Imagine that when you explain your background to someone, they don't believe you. Don't believe me? Oh yes, it's happened.

Imagine that you're minding your own business on the subway, and a person interrupts you to ask "Where are you from?" When you answer "Oh, I'm from Connecticut (or MA or CA or IA)," they give you a confused look and say "No, I mean, where are your parents from?" When you explain that your parents are Canadian citizens who now reside in Connecticut, they get even more upset and then finally ask "What's your ethnicity?" or, incorrectly, "What race are you?".

Imagine that when you explain your intensely complicated racial background, this person's face morphs into a look of disbelief. Imagine that people come up and ask you where your lips are done and when you say that your mother made you this way, they don't believe you. Imagine that when your hair gets blond streaks in the summer, people don't believe you and say that you're trying to hide the fact you dye your hair. Yes, these things are minor, but believe me, they add up.

I understand that people are curious, and I don't mind if a friend asks me to explain my identity, or if a stranger is truly interested in where I'm from. What I don't like, and what makes me panic, is when I feel like I'm being interrogated; like I'm on trial for looking the way I do. I CANNOT HELP THE WAY I LOOK.

So please, ask this question gently, because I'm telling you, it's not a simple one for some of us.

And yes, all of this stemmed from a woman asking me what my background was on the T this morning.

Visible Man

I am really proud of Eric Holder for speaking so bluntly to the members of the Justice Department on Wednesday about the level of racial discourse in America.

“Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot,” he said, “in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards.”

Despite the fact that Obama is President, voluntary segregation between ethnicities, especially black and white, is still very much present.

We as a society mulled over Obama's biraciality, his articulateness, and the question of whether he'd be black enough. However, as much as we discussed these issues, and as much as Barack addressed them, he never went to the level that Holder did in his speech.

Perhaps his speech seemed angry. To me, this speech was the truth, and it's a truth that still needs to be repeated, over and over again. America still has an uphill climb regarding the issue of race in America, yet it seems to turn a blind eye to this fact. It cannot be swept under the rug, nor can it be solved only because Barack Obama is President.

Tell me what you think. I'd really like to hear what you all have to say.

{And for those of you who don't know me, I consider myself both black and multiracial. Black because this is how American society sees me, multiracial, because my mixed roots are too prevalent to deny. I prefer to define myself as multiracial.}

Read "Visible Man" here.

Time to do some good!

Dear Readers,

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, donate!

This post is regarding the Discovery Center's Valentine's Day Appeal. The mission of the Discovery Center is to reduce the cultural, socio-economic and racial isolation in our educational system and communities. The program brings 4th, 5th and 6th grade students from Connecticut's urban centers and surrounding suburban/rural communities together for a year round diversity and team building experience with a focus on math, science and language arts curriculum. Approximately 52% of the students are minorities from low-income families. Over 8,100 4th, 5th and 6th grade students from the Greater Hartford area have participated in the program since 2002. The core program takes place during the academic year and culminates with a residential experience at Camp Woodstock in Woodstock, Connecticut.

Please consider making a donation of $10.00 per person and the individual you recognize will receive a personalized Valentine's Day Card from the Discovery Center citing a donation was made in their honor. Donations over $50.00 receive Diversity Jelly Beans. (Diversity Jelly Beans are jelly beans whose shell is a different color than the jelly inside!)


You can donate online at:

http://www.discoveringdiversity.com/news2.html

Please feel free to pass this message on to anyone who you think might be interested.

Happy Valentine's Day loves.

xx D