I don't know when it happened, but somewhere between 2 years ago and today I found a new home.
To make a long story short, I have two very lovely parents who moved their children around the world and back for several years until they settled in Connecticut. Because we were so transient during my formative years (meaning, before adolescence), the notion of "home" does not come easily to me. When most people think of the word "home" and what it means to them, they're able to come up with a concrete image- perhaps it's the house they grew up in, dinner on the table at 6, or kids they knew in kindergarten whom they still have ties with/to.
I've envied those who have had a physical place to come back to, and often wondered if I would ever be settled enough in a place so that I could call it home.
Well, it seems as if I have made one. Cambridge/Boston has been my home for the better part of 10 years; ever since I came to college. I've become an adult here. Most of my friends are here. I walk around the neighborhood and greet people I know. Cambridge is my constant.
How is it that this happened? How did I create my own home when for so long I felt as if I didn't have one; that my "home" was traveling with my family?
I would argue that it might be marriage, but I don't think that's it. I think the turning point came before I was even engaged.
I think the real issue is that I had had a problem with the notion of "settling". Settled means stifled. I didn't want to be stifled. Therefore, I wasn't ready to settle.
Except being settled doesn't mean being stifled at all. And I think that I'm finally ready to accept that. I have a new life. I'm starting a new family. I'm starting a new career path. I'm okay with being settled. And that, my friends, is why I can officially call Cambridge my home.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
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